Lessons in Chaos

At the end of a long work day all I want to do is sit down with my family around the dinner table and have a nice quiet family dinner.


For some reason, my four sons (currently aged 7, 5, 3 and 1) have a different idea about supper time. Everyone has stories to tell. They all want refills on drinks after only 2.5 seconds of being at the table.

We spend many suppers with children standing in their seats and making monster noises. There are a lot of quotes being thrown around. They quote the Lego Batman Movie, Teen Titans Go, Super Why, and everything else under the sun.

Honestly I’m impressed anything gets eaten at all and that my wife and I do not walk away from the table without shedding any tears.

All of that is said to point out that our lives here in the Weldy house tends to be a little bit chaotic. Sometimes it is. Or frequently. Alright, almost always.

Which is why one evening (our third child was 2 years old, we’ve become better parents since then) we did not notice that the 2 year old had shoved several pieces of corn into each ear (I have briefly mentioned this in my post Parenting Together).

My wife and I were both sitting at the table. We were engaged in what would appear like conversation with our children. Yet it was not until he got our attention to say, “corn, ear,” that we realized what was going on.

“No, no. We do not put corn in our ears,” my wife reasoned with the wild child.

“Yes! See? Corn ear.”

It was at this moment we realized the instructions had come too late.

We rushed him to the couch and shone a light into his ear canal and discovered our son had kernels deep in there (I’m not sure we ever referenced an ear of corn but apparently the kid wanted one).

We tried using different equipment to harvest the corn but unfortunately farming corn is more difficult than the fields of corn in the Midwest make it seem.

Should we use a sharpened pencil?

What about a toothpick?

Is there anything that we could possibly use to safely navigate this canal?

We were able to get a couple pieces out but there was more in there and we couldn’t get them. My wife ended up taking him to the doctor to see what they could do.

I would have gone but we were already dealing with corn in an ear, I didn’t see the point in bringing a tomato-faced father along as well.

The doctor office found the situation a little humorous and were able to get the remaining pieces out. To my knowledge they did not offer to give them back to our son.

We learned a few things in this situation.

  1. Bad things can happen, no matter what. We can’t spend time beating ourselves or each other up over it. Kids are a zoo and sometimes they legitimately act a bit like animals.
  2. My wife is way more calm than I am when a situation gets a bit stressful. If we are being honest, this is something we already knew, but it just reinforced the truth.
  3. Green beans are probably a better vegetable for our family at this time. Sure, they could break them apart for smaller pieces or could get the seeds out, but they don’t know that yet. So keep your mouth shut.

We adore our kids. It’s chaotic but I cannot properly put into words what a blessing each one of my sons is in my life.

Raising kids is crazy. It will drive a person crazy if you cannot laugh about it. Don’t beat yourself up. Enjoy the moments.

What’s a scary parent moment that later became funny?