My hands are trembling.
My heart is still racing.
I rushed home after the experience and I’ve been laying in my tent, sweating, and battling my labored breathing ever since.
I had the boldness to request of my Lord to change His plans and I have not recovered from the encounter.
He came to me.
I’ve heard the Lord speak before on a couple different occasions. He’s promised me great blessings through my descendants. Each time I’ve heard from Him I feel full of life.
Never do I leave feeling full of myself. If anything I feel full of Him. There’s definitely not anything special about this old man.
But now, my Lord came to my dwelling! He came with two others and allowed me the blessing to provide a meal for him. What an honor it was.
Then He told me of His plans to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Why He chooses to share anything with me I will never understand. I have never been able to wrap my mind around His desire to treat this white haired fool as a companion.
Where my mind is boggled though, my heart is warmed.
At least it usually is.
When he shared His plans this time my heart dropped into my stomach.
You see, my nephew left me a while back. We were having difficulties and I gave him his choice of land. He chose the better, just as I figured he would, and we separated. Since then he has gotten into some trouble which I have had to help him out of and then he decided to live in the most vile city on earth.
Which is why my heart sank when my Lord revealed He would destroy the place my precious nephew lives.
He may be a fool, but he is family.
It took all of my courage to speak up on that hillside. I asked the Lord if He found fifty righteous if He would spare the city.
As I remember the moment it was only a few seconds He took to reply. It was as if He anticipated my request.
Of course He did.
But while in that moment, those few seconds were like hours and I regretted even asking.
Then, He granted my request. I was filled with such joy!
The joy was short lived though when I realized there was no way even fifty righteous lived there. Without thinking I asked about forty five.
Again the Lord granted my request.
We volleyed like this a few times until I requested she spare the cities if there were only ten righteous.
It was a ridiculous request.
Why would He spare so many wicked for the sake of so few?
My whole body trembled and tears streamed from my eyes. There was a tightness in my chest as the words squeaked through my lips. What a fool I am. It was like I heard Lot telling his men, I am nothing but an arrogant fool.
The Lord though, smiled, with tears of His own streaming down His cheeks, and grated my request.
Then He was gone.
Now I lay here in disbelief praying for there to be ten. If there is any way my family survives this terror, I pray he appreciates it.
I hope he learns because I cannot continue to live my life being ripped apart on his account. It hurts too much.
Yet, I’ll do it every time.
May the Lord have mercy on him.
Thank the Lord for His mercy on me.