The Battle of the Cheese Pizza

I grabbed two frozen cheese pizzas from the store freezers.

I thought I had made a smart decision.

I later found out I was very wrong.


I’m not sure what the pizza eating habits are like in your home. Many people have sworn off pizza because of the grease, or the all around unhealthy food choice which it presents.

Others love their pizzas overflowing with toppings. Meats and veggies all swimming together in a beautiful pool of cheese. It can only be made better by sprinkling even more cheese on top. This would be the camp where I reside.

A couple years ago my wife took the kids to visit her family for about a week. To survive, I ordered an extra large Papa Johns supreme pizza and ate on it for lunch a supper for a few days.

It was magical.

My children, however, fall into a camp of less evolved tastes. They prefer their pizzas to be covered in only cheese. Occasionally one may request pepperoni, but it is a rare occurrence.

This is why I felt I was safe grabbing a couple cheese pizzas for supper. We were getting ready for a trip so did not want to leave leftovers.

Pizza was a safe option.

I grabbed a brand we do not usually purchase because it was bigger and looked like one whole pizza would be able to feed our family of six. And it did, but not without a fight.

The pizza in the image above is not our pizza although it looked similar. Our pizza also had a small sprinkling of green on the cheese. When I saw it I had thought, “No big deal. It’s only seasoning.”

*Quick side note: I have started referring to any extra flavoring as “seasoning.” I used to call them, “spices,” but our children then believe we were feeding them something “spicy” and would melt down before eating it.*

As soon as the pizza was placed in front of them I was assulted with questions.

“What is that green stuff?”

“Is it spicy?”

“Can you pick it off? I don’t think I’ll like it.”

“Did your dad treat you with such abuse?”

“Why do you hate us?”

Those last couple may be a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe.

I pressed forward with the strength of the 300 Spartans. I would not waver from my stance. The food had been prepared and there were no alternatives.

Sweat began to bead on my forehead as I ate my piece of pizza to show it was not poisoned in anyway. Then I needed to reassure the children my sweat was not because the pizza was spicy.

It’s just seasoning! It adds flavor…a good flavor.

To wrap up this story which has been told almost exactly as it happened, they all ended up eating their pieces.

The next day I prepared for the same encounter. I was ready for a forty-five minute battle over eating one piece of pizza.

I served each child one piece and braced myself. Five minutes later each piece was gone. Not a single word of complaint.

The exact same pizza!

I do not know if it was a fluke, or if my stern parenting style had worked. All I know is it felt like a victory, and I’m still talking about it.

That said, I’m not willing to redo the experiment and we will be going back to their regularly scheduled pizzas in the future.

What dinner time battles have you fought?