There are periods in all of our lives when we face more than our share of troubles. Sometimes it’s one big event. Other times it’s a series of unfortunate events (What? I cant use the phrase too).
I believe we each have a different threshold for trials which happen along.
What may be devastating to one person may only cause another person discomfort for a couple days before being able to move on. It is easy to place our own emotions into a situation and wonder why someone has not, “gotten better,” yet.
On the other hand it can be easy to allow the judgement and perceptions of others to influence what we allow them to see of us. When a friend has said a few times, “oh, that’s still bothering you?” it can be easy to begin to pretend everything is fine while hanging around them.
But it is okay to not be okay.
Take Your Time
There are some situations in life we are not meant to immediately get over. They take time to process.
It may take time to mourn or fight it out.
You may just be able to take small movements forward in demeanor or in the feelings of hope for the future, but the entire process can take years to really make any, “progress.”
Forward motion is forward motion.
I’m not even sure I want to refer to the process as moving forward or making progress.
Wrestling, or grappling may be a better picture. There are some moments when it appears you are winning.
Winning over the feelings of hopelessness, over the thoughts of regret, or the emptiness left in your heart.
You think you have mastered the situation. You know all the moves that these thoughts and feelings like to employ and you are ready. This sucker is going to be pinned.
In those moments someone mentions how great they see you have been doing. “It’s like you are back to your old self again.” And you feel it! You really are back to your old self.
Then somehow you lose the upper hand. The memories and feelings employ some sort of crafty jujitsu move and all of a sudden you are in a hold and don’t know how to get up.
It could have been a familiar sound, a location you used to frequent, an off handed comment from a friend, or even a smile that triggered a memory so painful it feels like the first pain happening all over again.
It can be so frustrating. You thought you had moved on.
But it is okay to not be okay.
Please do not feel as though you need to rush the process.
Don’t feel bad that you have to cancel plans or aren’t feeling as happy as everyone else looks.
You Are Not Alone
Remember, there are people who are on your side. They want you to be able to get through this situation unscathed, sure. What they really want though is to let you know they care about you.
They are here for you.
Also, even when it doesn’t feel like it, even in the silence, God is there with you as well. He takes no pleasure in our pains. He is not standing on a cloud wondering why you have not moved on yet. He cares so deeply for you and desires to be there with you, even on your worst days.
So take heart. Remember that you are loved.
Its okay to not be okay.